"What's the matter with these scissors??"
Greetings. Many gifts to anyone who can guess what movie the above quote is from. If you need help, call me and I'll do it in the voice.
Anyways: on the news front, my car has been experiencing some health problems. A couple weeks ago, I mentioned that I was getting very poor gas mileage. Sandy asked me when was the last time I had changed my air filter. My response of "Air what?" was enough for her to ascertain that it had been quite some time indeed. She then herded me to my car for a trip to the nearest auto parts store to purchase a new air filter and a PVC valve (or pcv, whichever is the thingy in your car), when I turned on my windshield wipers, she added new wiper blades to our list. I have been operating under the misapprehension that my car is a 1994 Buick LeSabre, when in fact it is a 1992 Buick LeSabre. This useful information was garnered by Sandy from my handy owner's manual. I think that was the first time it had been opened in years. Well, we purchased the filter, valve and wiper blades. It took a while for us (by which I mean Sandy) to figure out the air filter thingy on my car, since apparently every car she's ever owned has had a much simpler filter thingy, silly Buick. We (still Sandy here) were also unable to locate the existing Pwhatever valve, and our attempts at changing the wiper blades also failed. So we headed home and decided to take the car over to our neighbors, active members of the Backyard Auto Association.
Bill (not his real name) said that for sure he could change the valve, but we definitely had gotten the wrong wiper blades. So while the guys worked on switching the valves, Sandy and I went back to the store in search of the right blade. Don't get me started on the racket those dang wiper blade manufacturers have got going. I ended up just buying a whole new set of wipers. Sigh. But they were the cheapest, so it wasn't too bad. When we got back to the garage, Bill informed me that while he was changing the valve he noticed that antifreeze was leaking from my engine, a potentially explosive problem. He said he could fix it, if I got the part and paid him 50 bucks. I listened very carefully as he told me very slowly that the part I needed was an INTAKE GASKET.
I repeated that exact phrase later that week to the auto store guy, but he had no idea what I meant. He threw out other parts that included words like "thermal housing" and "manifold" but I was too scared to purchase anything. So Sandy came in with me a couple days later and said two words that sent the store guy immediately to the shelves. Yes, she said "Intake Gasket." I think the main difference in our two experiences was a matter of punctuation. My version of Intake Gasket ended with a question mark. "I need an intake gasket? for my car? buick?" Sandy's was a most definite period. So the guys now had all the things necessary to fix my car.
Apparently it was only going to take them a day to work on it, but come Sunday with my car still parked on the street, I was starting to panic about being able to drive to work the next day. I ended up borrowing Sandy's jeep that week because the guys found out that there was actually more wrong with the car than they'd thought and they'd had to get a buddy to do some "milling" for them of some part. They weren't done with the car by last friday, and I needed to get home for a very important job interview (which, in hindsight is probably more interesting news to my readers than all my car troubles, but I'm far too involved to quit now), so I borrowed Sandy's nice car, which got a flat tire somehow during Sunday night so Sandy had to drive her jeep to work on monday (apparently not my fault, but I still felt bad, the guys fixed it).
I drove my car, and I noticed that they hadn't changed my oil like I had asked them. I'd even gone to the Store and purchased oil and a filter! Things I didn't really know you needed for an oil change. I asked my dad "So I'll need oil right? like a quart?" Dad said "like Five." Anyways, while I was driving my cigarette smoky/beery car I noticed that whenever I took my foot from the break but before I accelerated and whenever I was parked...the car would shake! Not like wrrrrrrrr but more like wrrrrrUHwrrrrUH, call me if you need the sound effects, they were very helpful for the guys when I went over and made them. Actually, they laughed at me, but then asked when my car was making these sounds and movements. So Bill asked me when was the last time my spark plugs were changed? My response was "My whats?" So he said that if I got the parts, he'd fix it this weekend and change my oil. So I went to sandy and told her the good news, that I needed a new Spark Plug! She responded, "well you probably need more than that, how many valves is your engine?" My response was an unintelligent blank stare. She sent me back to the guys, I asked them stupidly how many plugs I should buy. Bill said I'd need six. So I went that very night to get the plugs, and the guy asked me all those questions that had previously caused me to stumble (such as make, model, year...custom or limited? 3.8 engine?) and I answered with unshakable calm. I told him I needed spark plugs for my 1992 Buick LeSabre Custom 3.8 engine car.
So, now I'm going to get my spark plugs and my oil changed this weekend. And I think I need air in my tires.
Anyways: on the news front, my car has been experiencing some health problems. A couple weeks ago, I mentioned that I was getting very poor gas mileage. Sandy asked me when was the last time I had changed my air filter. My response of "Air what?" was enough for her to ascertain that it had been quite some time indeed. She then herded me to my car for a trip to the nearest auto parts store to purchase a new air filter and a PVC valve (or pcv, whichever is the thingy in your car), when I turned on my windshield wipers, she added new wiper blades to our list. I have been operating under the misapprehension that my car is a 1994 Buick LeSabre, when in fact it is a 1992 Buick LeSabre. This useful information was garnered by Sandy from my handy owner's manual. I think that was the first time it had been opened in years. Well, we purchased the filter, valve and wiper blades. It took a while for us (by which I mean Sandy) to figure out the air filter thingy on my car, since apparently every car she's ever owned has had a much simpler filter thingy, silly Buick. We (still Sandy here) were also unable to locate the existing Pwhatever valve, and our attempts at changing the wiper blades also failed. So we headed home and decided to take the car over to our neighbors, active members of the Backyard Auto Association.
Bill (not his real name) said that for sure he could change the valve, but we definitely had gotten the wrong wiper blades. So while the guys worked on switching the valves, Sandy and I went back to the store in search of the right blade. Don't get me started on the racket those dang wiper blade manufacturers have got going. I ended up just buying a whole new set of wipers. Sigh. But they were the cheapest, so it wasn't too bad. When we got back to the garage, Bill informed me that while he was changing the valve he noticed that antifreeze was leaking from my engine, a potentially explosive problem. He said he could fix it, if I got the part and paid him 50 bucks. I listened very carefully as he told me very slowly that the part I needed was an INTAKE GASKET.
I repeated that exact phrase later that week to the auto store guy, but he had no idea what I meant. He threw out other parts that included words like "thermal housing" and "manifold" but I was too scared to purchase anything. So Sandy came in with me a couple days later and said two words that sent the store guy immediately to the shelves. Yes, she said "Intake Gasket." I think the main difference in our two experiences was a matter of punctuation. My version of Intake Gasket ended with a question mark. "I need an intake gasket? for my car? buick?" Sandy's was a most definite period. So the guys now had all the things necessary to fix my car.
Apparently it was only going to take them a day to work on it, but come Sunday with my car still parked on the street, I was starting to panic about being able to drive to work the next day. I ended up borrowing Sandy's jeep that week because the guys found out that there was actually more wrong with the car than they'd thought and they'd had to get a buddy to do some "milling" for them of some part. They weren't done with the car by last friday, and I needed to get home for a very important job interview (which, in hindsight is probably more interesting news to my readers than all my car troubles, but I'm far too involved to quit now), so I borrowed Sandy's nice car, which got a flat tire somehow during Sunday night so Sandy had to drive her jeep to work on monday (apparently not my fault, but I still felt bad, the guys fixed it).
I drove my car, and I noticed that they hadn't changed my oil like I had asked them. I'd even gone to the Store and purchased oil and a filter! Things I didn't really know you needed for an oil change. I asked my dad "So I'll need oil right? like a quart?" Dad said "like Five." Anyways, while I was driving my cigarette smoky/beery car I noticed that whenever I took my foot from the break but before I accelerated and whenever I was parked...the car would shake! Not like wrrrrrrrr but more like wrrrrrUHwrrrrUH, call me if you need the sound effects, they were very helpful for the guys when I went over and made them. Actually, they laughed at me, but then asked when my car was making these sounds and movements. So Bill asked me when was the last time my spark plugs were changed? My response was "My whats?" So he said that if I got the parts, he'd fix it this weekend and change my oil. So I went to sandy and told her the good news, that I needed a new Spark Plug! She responded, "well you probably need more than that, how many valves is your engine?" My response was an unintelligent blank stare. She sent me back to the guys, I asked them stupidly how many plugs I should buy. Bill said I'd need six. So I went that very night to get the plugs, and the guy asked me all those questions that had previously caused me to stumble (such as make, model, year...custom or limited? 3.8 engine?) and I answered with unshakable calm. I told him I needed spark plugs for my 1992 Buick LeSabre Custom 3.8 engine car.
So, now I'm going to get my spark plugs and my oil changed this weekend. And I think I need air in my tires.
posted by Lindsey at 4:29 PM
6 Comments:
What a story! Well just a week ago, my jeep is having a trouble, several Jeep Liberty parts such as head gasket and thermostat had be replaced. Of course I had to spend some $$$ for the replacement. I think every car owner must have a budget for repairs and maintenance, its quite expensive when things won't work. I hope you'll fix your ride.
Hercules. Wow, what an ordeal, next time they're just gonna send you to buy a new car I'm afraid! By the way, I can't even begin to guess the fairy tale, but the swan, penguin thing is hilarious. Also, what does it take to get shirts made? Encyclical Guild shirts would be pretty awesome...eh?
They forgot to tell you to fix your flux capacitor. Also, I noticed earlier that the hyperdrive motivator has been damaged, it's impossible to go to light speed!
Wheeze, I think you can just have cafepress.com make them, and you pay on a by-shirt basis. I know a few people who have done this for bands or comic strips or what-not, and it doesn't seem that hard.
The movie: Hercules. I've only seen the movie once, but a little copy and paste into google action yeilds an answer pretty quickly. I guess that might be cheating :)
Wow, maybe you should email Tom and Ray (Cartalk) for them to relay to their listeners as an encouragement to others (or as the French used to say "pour encouragez les autres." (If you can't translate, maybe you can find somebody who can ;)
Wow, maybe you should email Tom and Ray (Cartalk) for them to relay to their listeners as an encouragement to others (or as the French used to say "pour encouragez les autres." (If you can't translate, maybe you can find somebody who can ;)
Good post.
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