Trick or Pee
Well, it's that time of post again. The Pee post. But I promise this is a funny one.
It's Free Choice time in 3 yr. old Preschool. That wonderful 45 minutes or so of absolute and total bliss for the kids. Usually we have an art project going that we cycle the kids through. So Mrs. C's doing art and I'm monitoring the water table in order to avoid wet children and/or classroom.
Betty walks up to me and says very matter-of-factly "Miss Mishler, I can't stop what I'm doing." I'm puzzled by this statement.
"Well Betty, you can choose to stop if you want, you don't have to play at the water table."
"No, this!"
And she lifts her skirt to reveal her tights. As I watch in bemusement, the tights begin to darken...this cannot portend good things. Realization dawns...I grab Betty and rush her to the bathroom. There I assess the situation from a triage point of view. Should I risk the removal of the tights thereby exposing myself to the ongoing outpouring? Or should I leave the tights on to absorb the impact? I decided on the latter and let nature run its course for a few seconds more. Meanwhile Betty is telling me about some new blocks she got at home that she can stack by herself. If only this same block skill were applied to her potty skills. I peel the tights off gingerly, while trying to explain my actions to young Betty. Much the way a doctor would explain a procedure to a patient.
"Why taking off my tights?"
"Well Betty, since you ask, it's because you have peed in them."
"Why I peed in them?"
"That is an excellent question Betty, I believe it is because you waited a tad too long to go to the potty. We always go peepee on the potty Betty."
"Why?"
"Uh, Betty, because it's ucky to go peepee in our clothes, see? Now you can't wear your pretty skirt today." (I begin to remove said skirt)
"Why I can't wear my skirt??? Why?!?"
"Look, your pee soaked through your tights, your skirt is wet!"
"Wet? from water?"
"no. actually. Not from water. From your pee pee."
And so we continued until she had been stripped to her t-shirt and stood in her nakedness feeling no shame, with her pile of urine drenched clothing beside her. I found a pair of ugly black sweatpants and blood-curdlingly purple socks. I hoped the sheer wretchedness of these clothing items would instill in her more deeply the preciousness of her pretty skirt. The odd thing was that when Mom picked her up, she didn't notice the sweatpants until I ran after them with the bag of aforementioned drenched articles. Betty then said "Oh Mommy, I couldn't stop what I was doing."
That wouldn't have been a problem had she been doing it on the potty.
Thank you for tuning in to this weeks "Potty Tales."
It's Free Choice time in 3 yr. old Preschool. That wonderful 45 minutes or so of absolute and total bliss for the kids. Usually we have an art project going that we cycle the kids through. So Mrs. C's doing art and I'm monitoring the water table in order to avoid wet children and/or classroom.
Betty walks up to me and says very matter-of-factly "Miss Mishler, I can't stop what I'm doing." I'm puzzled by this statement.
"Well Betty, you can choose to stop if you want, you don't have to play at the water table."
"No, this!"
And she lifts her skirt to reveal her tights. As I watch in bemusement, the tights begin to darken...this cannot portend good things. Realization dawns...I grab Betty and rush her to the bathroom. There I assess the situation from a triage point of view. Should I risk the removal of the tights thereby exposing myself to the ongoing outpouring? Or should I leave the tights on to absorb the impact? I decided on the latter and let nature run its course for a few seconds more. Meanwhile Betty is telling me about some new blocks she got at home that she can stack by herself. If only this same block skill were applied to her potty skills. I peel the tights off gingerly, while trying to explain my actions to young Betty. Much the way a doctor would explain a procedure to a patient.
"Why taking off my tights?"
"Well Betty, since you ask, it's because you have peed in them."
"Why I peed in them?"
"That is an excellent question Betty, I believe it is because you waited a tad too long to go to the potty. We always go peepee on the potty Betty."
"Why?"
"Uh, Betty, because it's ucky to go peepee in our clothes, see? Now you can't wear your pretty skirt today." (I begin to remove said skirt)
"Why I can't wear my skirt??? Why?!?"
"Look, your pee soaked through your tights, your skirt is wet!"
"Wet? from water?"
"no. actually. Not from water. From your pee pee."
And so we continued until she had been stripped to her t-shirt and stood in her nakedness feeling no shame, with her pile of urine drenched clothing beside her. I found a pair of ugly black sweatpants and blood-curdlingly purple socks. I hoped the sheer wretchedness of these clothing items would instill in her more deeply the preciousness of her pretty skirt. The odd thing was that when Mom picked her up, she didn't notice the sweatpants until I ran after them with the bag of aforementioned drenched articles. Betty then said "Oh Mommy, I couldn't stop what I was doing."
That wouldn't have been a problem had she been doing it on the potty.
Thank you for tuning in to this weeks "Potty Tales."
posted by Lindsey at 5:21 PM
5 Comments:
Aeiou! Scared you didn't I? Yes, always. I am doctor Phil VanNeuter, you're...friendly veterinarian. Remember that :) Nice post. Uhoh, I can't stop what I'm doing...just kidding.
Does the dress code there allow you to wear a wetsuit? Waders? I'll bet parents would start to feel awkward about their un-potty-trained brood then, bwahahahaha. Just kidding. You have a funny job :)
You're a real Potty-Animal!
Ooh, I'll bet you could use one of these for work. Looks like my Christmas shopping is all but taken care of.
But, I like purple clothing. Does Clem remember my purple converse? I wish I still had a pair.
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