Model T

So, in the last post I mentioned the difficulties I'm having with getting my tea packaging printed. I thought I'd post one of the package designs here just for fun. This is my favorite project so far, I had lots of fun putting these together. All the items are from old car manuals, or twenties fashion models (kudos to older sister for fashion model suggestion) and such like.

A Misnomer of Epic Proportion (or at least $28.97)

Flip it all. Seriously. If you, the average consumer, were to come upon a product named "Lazertran" and read on the package the slogan "any image, any surface" and saw a picture of homecrafted candles with clipart images "lazertranned" onto them... would you naturally assume it would be safe to print this "lazertran" from a "lazer" printer?

I would. And I am significantly more informed than the average consumer. Or at least so I thought when I purchase 10 sheets of Lazertran at the hefty and extortionistic price of $28.97. That, my cyber friends, is $2.897 per sheet. I am now in the plan B stages of my Tea Packaging operation. Namely: Kinkos. Apparently this "lazertran" works in "colour photocopiers." And no, it doesn't work in my inkjet because "lazertran" is of a delicate constitution and cannot withstand fusing temperatures higher than 180 degrees Celcius (whatever that is). The only thing I understand about this paper is that I soak it in water and it sticks onto "any surface."

"Any image* any surface"

*except anything from a lazer printer, or a hot inkjet, or certain photocopiers, any canon product, in fact, only print this on xerox copiers manufactured before 1989 and located within 50 kilometers of a Spars Shoppe.

Death to Lazertran and all his evil minions.

Where've I've Been all these Years?

So I just sent this email to D, to explain why I haven't had any contact with him since monday night. I figured he thought I was dead, and then realized that you, my eager web audience, probably had a similar misconception. I put forth this itinerary to demonstrate the complete impossibility of any time for contact with outside world via email or blog.

Monday:
7:30-8:: spoke with donal
8-9:: half-*CENSORED* work on paper
9-10:23: spoke with Martha
10:23-11:33:: more half *CENSORED*
11:33-12:20:: SUDOKU!!!
12:20-12:22:: debated skipping textiles in the morning
12:23:: decided to be an hour late
12:24:: set alarm for 7 am
12:25:: brushed teeth, peed, prayed, got into bed.
12:25-6:47:: sleep!

Tuesday:
6:47:: wake up, look at clock, cry
6:48:: debate getting up anyway
6:49:: get up, shower
7:07:: dried hair, got dressed
7:13:: turned on hot water
7:13-7:14::held hands over tea kettle
7:14-7:23:: prayed, ate breakfast
7:30-7:31:: decided to drive instead of bus, because I felt guilty about missing an hour of class
7:31-7:32:: brushed teeth, grabbed tea, ran out the door
7:32-7:51:: drove to school
7:51-8:01:: slept on table in textiles
8:01: teacher woke me up and told me to get to work
8:01-8:03:: first tea pee
8:03-10:45:: worked on various and sundry
10:45-10:47:: second tea pee
10:47-11:30:: sat in art history room reading about caravaggio
11:30-12:45:: struggled through art history, staying awake by eating sandwich and apple
12:45-4:30:: worked on various and sundry
4:30-4:50:: drove home
4:50-4:51:: decided whether to eat dinner now or later
4:52:: decided I was starving, began macaroni preparations
4:53-5:30:: watched simpson's while eating macaroni and cheese
5:30-5:33:: sat aimlessly in chair, staring at my paper notes
5:33:: turned computer on, then off again
5:34-7:20:: read about Caravaggio, with no paper focus in mind, 2 mugs of tea, several bathroom breaks
7:24-7:43:: drove to Brown's for babysitting.
7:43-7:54:: sat in car waiting for Brown's to come home
7:54-10:25:: babysitting, composed a song with Grace, wrote two sentences of paper.
10:25-10:38:: drove home, tried not to kill pedestrians
10:38-11:00:: watched end of SVU with roomies, made tea
11:00-11:57:: wrote intro for paper
11:57-12:04:: abducted by aliens, impregnated and released
12:04-6:25:: sleep

Wednesday
6:25:: woke up to sound of cd player turning on
6:25-6:45:: shower, hair, clothing
6:45-7:05:: breakfast, pray, tea
7:05-7:08:: brush teeth, first tea pee.
7:08-7:28:: drove to work.
7:28-7:30:: waited for a teacher to let me in
7:30-7:32:: second tea pee
7:32-11:30:: worked, ate hot lunch of hot dog, chips, cookies and carrots
11:30-11:45:: went to bank and asked stupid questions about depositing checks
11:45-12:03:: drove home
12:03-2:20:: wrote 400 words of paper, with interspersions of spider solitaire
2:20-2:40:: drove to Packaging plant for field trip
2:40-4:30:: toured awesome packaging plant
4:30-5:03:: Home Depot, asked stupid questions about wood, purchased wrong size hardboard panel
5:03-5:20: drove home
5:20-5:40: ate leftover macaroni and watched some King of the Hill
5:40-6:45:: wrote several sentences of paper while playing solitaire and listening to Satchmo
6:45-6:55:: attempted to print Sudoku puzzle from internet
6:55: gave up on sudoku, left for Parr's for UCO formation meeting
7:00-9:04:: formation on "State of Life" discernment, want to be a hermit who moonlights as opera singer
9:04:: shook butt at truck that honked at us in the road
9:05:: received slaps from Elena and Shannon for shocking behavior
9:05-9:10:: drove home
9:10-9:35:: did NOT watch Lost
9:35-9:40:: spoke to dad and dan
9:40-9:58:: made "Soixante" t-shirt
9:58-1:05:: finished paper, attempted to burn to cd, froze computer, attempted to connect to internet, froze computer, connected to internet, attempted to attach paper to email, froze computer, attached file and copy/pasted text into email
1:05-6:45:: sleep

Thursday
6:45-7:03:: shower, hair, clothing (soixante shirt!)
7:03-7:25:: breakfast, pray, tea
7:25-7:45:: drive to school
7:45-7:47:: first tea pee
7:47-7:59:: sleep on textile table
7:59:: awoken by teacher, told to get to it
7:59-9:59:: print paper, work on quilt pieces
9:59-10:25:: write this email
10:25:: cry because it's already 10:25 and I only have 4 more pieces finished
10:26:: realize I need to take second tea pee

10:26:: goodbye, hope this wasn't too boring.

A Poll

Ok, so my next project for Graphics is...an animated movie. Of sorts. It can really be anything that moves. So I was thinking, theme-wise, that it could be one of those funny things that has happened to me on my travels (i.e. Stair Bishop, Pregnant/Scared? Elevator keys etc). I was hoping you, the audience, could help me come up with ideas for the movie. Either your favorite Crazy Lindsey story or really any crazy story. Fun fun. Let me know.

More Quilt pieces

One of my quilt Squares

I forgot I was going to post this, it's one of the designs I came up with for the "family" section of my quilt. Isn't she a cutie?

The Sub's Way

Wow. It's been awhile. I've been severely chastised by my family for not posting about my adventures as a Substitute Teacher (for 7th grade a few weeks ago and Kindergarten last friday). I will say in my defense that I had typed up a post but the computer froze and I had to restart. Suffice it to say I'm a mean sub, mostly because the kids guessed that I was 29 (a perfectly wonderful age, but nine years later than mine). I also had to write my name on the board, "Miss M______" which made me laugh because it was such a substitute thing to do. They tried the Name Switch Game. Maybe they thought I was never in Junior High, hasn't everyone at one point tried that on their sub? I mean, it's so obvious when you ask a kid "What's your name" and they say "snicker snicker McKayla.....snicker snicker" and look at the girl next to them and poke them and tell them to shutup. "Yeah" I said, "What's your REAL name?" One girl asked me if she could call me Miss Mish, and I asked her what her name was "Layla," I then asked her if I could call her "La" and that shut her up. Yes, I was that evil. Kindergarten was much more my speed. The kids didn't want to know how old I was or if I were married, had kids, how many, did I go to college, what are my grades, is my boyfriend tall and what kind of car do I drive? I had to do the whole 3 hours, and was basically their teacher and helped them through their "centers" and took them outside. They were very cute, and knew their routine pretty well and so were able to help me out. At that age their pretty bad at lying, so when one girl told me that the teacher usually lets them eat their snacks in the library, I asked her "really?" and she said "uhhhhhhhhhhhhh...yeah!" The length of the uhhhhhhh is actually the amount of time it takes for them to compare the lie with the truth and decide that they want to have the lie. I could almost hear her thinking "We're supposed to eat our snack at our tables, but I want to eat in the library and look at a book. I know! I'll tell Miss M that Mrs. S usually lets us eat in the library! She'll never know!" uhhhhhhhhh... I returned home at 3:30 absolutely dead, even my room mate noticed how uncharacteristically quiet I was. I think God is trying to tell me not to go into education.

So I'm back at school after a blissfully unproductive Spring Break. Yes, I went nowhere, did (almost) nothing and slept in until 9 four times. It was most excellent. There were some highlights though:

Sunday: went to the Community Gathering to meet up with my room mate's sister to follow her to her house for dinner afterwards (complicated, I know). That was fun, I experienced a new food trick: Saltine's with beef and mustard (beef from the veggie beef stew they made). It was quite delicious.

Monday: went to a family's house for dinner and to practice guitar with Jim (father). It was a lot of fun, they have a great family. It made me less homesick because Jim read to the family during dinner from a christian book and then led a discussion about the chapter. It reminded me of similar occurrences at the M. Household back in the day. I attempted to stay up "late" and made it until 11:06.

Tuesday: sleeping. Also I ran on the treadmill for an hour, almost died, and sweated out the equivalent of the Pacific Ocean in my new (cheap) running pants that are sometimes black and sometime navy blue, depending on the light and the price of eggs.

Wednesday: Work then Library trip!! I walked out with 6 books and 8 movies. Dangerous.

Thursday: sleeping. Then went to the gym with Sandy to workout and sweat in my Navy Black pants and new Uniboob bra (and shirt...).

Friday: work...all...day...kids...thousands...so many...then Fish Fry!! with some community families! Including the Monday Family, where a bunch of us went afterwards for an impromptu movie night. We watched the new Yours, Mine and Ours which was a much better remake than Cheaper by the Dozen, and the Pacifier, ahhh, punching and thin plotline, doesn't get much better. I also accidentally made myself coffee, I thought it was hot chocolate mix, but it ended up being cappucino mix (decaf no less!) so I drank it because I didn't want to be rude.

Saturday: sleep....then community potluck for dinner at the Monday's! I made my first solo appearance playing guitar since Jim had had thumb surgery, it was pretty scary and I messed up a few times but only Jim noticed. Two other UCO kids came and we watched War of the Worlds with the family after everyone else left. I held onto a pillow and screamed louder than the 12 year old Becca. After that, "Jane" and "Joe" and I (names changed to protect privacy) went back to the Guy's house and played darts for a while before driving to pick "Bill" from his work. Bill and Joe then decided that they were starving so we stopped at Meijers where they procured two packages of brats and buns, which we grilled on their porch while smoking cigars (Jane declined). The fun wound down around 1 AM and Jane drove me home (after driving past a car we all thought was engaged in that popular pasttime of "Parking," the second we drove past their lights came on and they started the car...heh heh).

Sunday: sleep...then Mass (ahhh, gather hymnal). Then UCO where I played guitar with another dude, we had fun picking songs out because the Lansing gang forgot to bring songbooks, so we were trying to find songs that everyone knew. Yes, we sang "Lord I lift your Name on High." Then we went to Papa Johns for food/drinks/fun. I called my Spring Break officially Dead at 11:05 pm.

And there you have it. My week in a nutcase. Of course, there were a few hours here and there wherein I created 21 new squares for my quilt. So, work was accomplished, but not in a pletherous amount.

Signing off, wishing you all a good day and I'll email you soon Cute Blonde Sister.