A treatise on Fonts
I've decided to write a little bit about my healthy obsession with fonts/type. I say healthy because if my career as a lounge singer doesn't pan out, then my education as a graphic designer (which, please God, will be completed in 2007) will have to kick in as my source of income. As a designer I am faced (ha ha, pun) with bazoodlians of layout and type treatments. Not something I can avoid, if I wanted to. How many firms would hire someone who says their specialty is creating layouts that feature no type! Very handy for the magazine industry no? I can just picture the meeting with the client...
Client: "So, our headline for the article is going to be-"
Snobby Designer: "Wait, pause, reflect. Did my artistically attuned auditory organs actually process the word...headline?"
C: "Well yes, this is a magazine spread we've got here and it features an article on llama breeding, it's 2000 words, so I hope you can-"
SD: "Do you mean, I shudder, I faint...type???"
C: "....that is the traditionally accepted format for articles yes."
SD: "I'm afraid you've got the wrong trained monkey here Mr. Corporate America! All you capitalistic suits think about is Headline Headline Headline! Well I've got a HEADLINE for you, I am no long for hire! I do not work with type! Fonts are an illusion, merely bastardized shapes that we've been brainwashed to accept as communication! The only true fonts have been destroyed by thousands of years of materialistic retardation! You will be receiving my bill for this meaningless waste of my intellectual aptitude, in sanskrit!" *storms artistically from room*
C: Well, I guess we'll just have to use Papyrus!
SD (from beyond door): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Well, that was fun. I've been thinking (and now I digress from my proposed post topic) that it would be funny/scary to have a show about art students. There would be drama, tears, naked people, and plenty of crazy people. All of which are essential elements of most successful shows these days (cf. Desperate Housewives). "hey, great blog, if you like Desperate Housewives..." I mean honestly, it could be four seasons, each season representing one year. Naturally Foundations would be the most traumatic because the poor kids undergo maniacal torture at the cruel hands of their three studio class instructors. It could follow the adventures of a select group of kids who go through the art program. One might be double majoring in Printmaking and Gender Studies (and thus the most insane of the group), another could be a Straighter (illustrator) who is secretly fond of Hello Kitty, another could be a Graphie (graphic design) whose obsession with fonts and type causes her to be banned from the GR area theaters. Oh, how fun would it be? Come on, who would watch it? Hands? Ahah! I knew it, ratings would soar! Especially if we threw in a life drawing course in the second year. So, who wants to help me produce? I'll need a director too, and a few stars, preferably unknowns since they're cheaper and I can only afford to pay in ramen noodles. "Hi!!! Awesome blog! If you like ramen noodles go to dehydrateyourselfin10weeks.com!!!"
But back to fonts: A lot of people go through life without even realizing that there are people (people?! GODS! uh, in the non-blasphemous sense of the word, if there is one, which I hope) who create these fonts by which the world is able to communicate! It's awesome! Empowering! Designers create mass communication! Scary...But seriously, take Gill Sans for example, did you know that Eric Gill was a sex offender? Betcha didn't. Did you know that that font of all fonts, the standard serif truetype font on all computers, the god of paper fonts...Times New Roman, was created by the Times in the 30s and was originally called "Times' Roman" and became "Times New Roman" in the 80s when people digitized it and created "Truetype" fonts instead of Postscripts... uh, I bet you DIDN'T...
Anyways, I'll cut myself short because I'm 3 minutes behind my schedule and I'm sure normal people have stopped reading by now anyways. And holy heifer I can sure be loquacious!
Client: "So, our headline for the article is going to be-"
Snobby Designer: "Wait, pause, reflect. Did my artistically attuned auditory organs actually process the word...headline?"
C: "Well yes, this is a magazine spread we've got here and it features an article on llama breeding, it's 2000 words, so I hope you can-"
SD: "Do you mean, I shudder, I faint...type???"
C: "....that is the traditionally accepted format for articles yes."
SD: "I'm afraid you've got the wrong trained monkey here Mr. Corporate America! All you capitalistic suits think about is Headline Headline Headline! Well I've got a HEADLINE for you, I am no long for hire! I do not work with type! Fonts are an illusion, merely bastardized shapes that we've been brainwashed to accept as communication! The only true fonts have been destroyed by thousands of years of materialistic retardation! You will be receiving my bill for this meaningless waste of my intellectual aptitude, in sanskrit!" *storms artistically from room*
C: Well, I guess we'll just have to use Papyrus!
SD (from beyond door): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Well, that was fun. I've been thinking (and now I digress from my proposed post topic) that it would be funny/scary to have a show about art students. There would be drama, tears, naked people, and plenty of crazy people. All of which are essential elements of most successful shows these days (cf. Desperate Housewives). "hey, great blog, if you like Desperate Housewives..." I mean honestly, it could be four seasons, each season representing one year. Naturally Foundations would be the most traumatic because the poor kids undergo maniacal torture at the cruel hands of their three studio class instructors. It could follow the adventures of a select group of kids who go through the art program. One might be double majoring in Printmaking and Gender Studies (and thus the most insane of the group), another could be a Straighter (illustrator) who is secretly fond of Hello Kitty, another could be a Graphie (graphic design) whose obsession with fonts and type causes her to be banned from the GR area theaters. Oh, how fun would it be? Come on, who would watch it? Hands? Ahah! I knew it, ratings would soar! Especially if we threw in a life drawing course in the second year. So, who wants to help me produce? I'll need a director too, and a few stars, preferably unknowns since they're cheaper and I can only afford to pay in ramen noodles. "Hi!!! Awesome blog! If you like ramen noodles go to dehydrateyourselfin10weeks.com!!!"
But back to fonts: A lot of people go through life without even realizing that there are people (people?! GODS! uh, in the non-blasphemous sense of the word, if there is one, which I hope) who create these fonts by which the world is able to communicate! It's awesome! Empowering! Designers create mass communication! Scary...But seriously, take Gill Sans for example, did you know that Eric Gill was a sex offender? Betcha didn't. Did you know that that font of all fonts, the standard serif truetype font on all computers, the god of paper fonts...Times New Roman, was created by the Times in the 30s and was originally called "Times' Roman" and became "Times New Roman" in the 80s when people digitized it and created "Truetype" fonts instead of Postscripts... uh, I bet you DIDN'T...
Anyways, I'll cut myself short because I'm 3 minutes behind my schedule and I'm sure normal people have stopped reading by now anyways. And holy heifer I can sure be loquacious!
posted by Lindsey at 10:49 PM
1 Comments:
Excellent fonts all! Palatino is a classic, designed by Herman Zapf (always good fonts from him, Optima being one of the best), very popular in Advertising these days for its readability. Did you know that Futura and Goudy Old Style are both from the same type foundry? URW, different typographers though. Futura is a beautiful font indeed, for a sans serif :) Serif-wise I believe my all-time is Mrs. Eaves. There's a nice long story behind that font, but I'll save that for another day. It involves a mistress!
Wow...I'm a nerd.
Post a Comment
<< Home